


Operating System

by pronker



Category: Penguins of Madagascar
Genre: Gen, Humor, Jargon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 14:28:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9552809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pronker/pseuds/pronker
Summary: Team Building Week ends not with a bang, but with a whimper.





	

Title: Operating System

Author: pronker

Era: Sometime during the TV show

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this fanfiction of Dreamworks' Penguins of Madagascar franchise using its characters and settings.

Summary: Team Building Week ends not with a bang, but with a whimper.

IOIOIOIOIO

The thin February sun darted in and out of view on a 5 p.m. Friday assembly of ninja-skilled penguins ever ready to fight injustice and inappropriately pricey Gallagher concert tickets. The team headed out of the chill at their leader's wordless signal and hopped on aching feet down the ladder to their high-tech HQ.

Skipper adjusted the sling supporting his right flipper. "Gentlemen, this is the final exercise on the final day in Team Building Week, Numero Cinco. To further his leadership training, I have delegated my second in command to demonstrate a protocol in his specialty. Kowalski, proceed with ennui defense drill." He indicated the Prince Sharesalot Band-Aid on Kowalski's left buttock. "Permission given to conduct the drill from a seated position, if that's more comfortable - "

"I'll remain standing, sir."

Private rubbed at his black eye before he remembered being told not to touch it. "Skippa, wot does onwee m- "

"Ah bup bup bup! Attention, if you please. Skipper designated _me_ to lead and all questions ought to come to _me_."

"K'walski, wot does onwee m- "

"You'll find out in due time, Private." Kowalski slapped his riding crop against his thigh and the team jumped, except for Skipper. The commander blanked his face, which made Kowalski even more nervous than usual. He kept a stiff upper beak and continued. "I have prepared the history of our rookery in the form of a blurb for a manual regarding the most important thing in our team's everyday life."

" _Feeeesh?"_ Rico favored his sprained ankle while limping to his customary seat at their all-purpose table.

"Y-No, Rico. The computer!" Kowalski indicated the set up in the corner of their lair, over by the intruder alert controls. His voice grew tender. "It's a thing of beauty." He toughened with a harsh blow of the crop followed by a wince. "But that's not the point. Today you will listen and you _will_ avoid what Skipper called it, so Private and Rico, study this drill hard to learn how. To prepare against it, that is. You know, that word."

Skipper broke his silence from the head of the table. "Just get on with it, man."

"Er, yes, sir. I speak without my clipboard aids" - he cast an apprehensive look in his leader's direction - "and the history begins after our Central Park Zoo ensconcement. That means settling in, Private. So, um, let's start."

1010101010

_Penguin Commando Version 3.0 OS - Technical Notes Released!_

Finally, the designers have released the Technical Notes on the Penguin Commando Version 3.0 OS! Now it all makes sense!

_What's New in Penguin Commando Version 3.0 Operating System (OS) (TM)_

_**LIMITED "HEADQUARTERS EYES ONLY" EDITION - ONLY AVAILABLE WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!** _

WARNING: No longer compatible with Blowhole v3.0 Plug-In (TM) and all previous versions! (See Known Bugs)

FOR THOSE UPGRADING FROM PREVIOUS VERSIONS:

**Manfredi+Johnson v1.0**

Initially, Penguin Commando v1.0 was a beta program that operated under the Manfredi+Johnson v1.0 OS. The interface was missing many of the bells and whistles added later in Version 2.0 with the inclusion of submarine.h2o and biplanes.707; however, the streamlined configuration seemed to augment both speed and execution, (ref. fragmentation issue). The addition of Private v1.0 was an on the fly add-in to address character density within the program. Once skipper.p0p was added to the parent directory, the additional stability allowed v1.0 to run such popular programs such as Globetrotting Exploits v2.0 and Insufferably Cute Duckling v1.5 with ease.

  
Users were encouraged to readjust their Old Team/New Team configuration when it became apparent that Penguin Commando v1.0 was ready to integrate more fully into the OS. The interface with Skipper v1.0, however, grew unstable, resulting in the persistent ERROR: SYSTEM HALTED DUE TO MULTIPLE CONFLICTING REPORTS OF CHARACTER DEATH whenever both programs attempted to operate under the Manfredi+Johnson v1.0 OS. The ultimate execution of Uninstall Manfredi+Johnson.1n1 seemed unavoidable in order to preserve system integrity.

**Penguin Commando v2.0**

To say that this upgrade was buggy would be an understatement. Once it emerged from beta, the OS evidenced persistent reports of bugs throughout C:/lair/dumpster/broaches. Only activation of the brohemian rhapsody processing command was effective in spite of User complaints of excessive duplicate files overwhelming the system as a result.

Vast improvements were made to the Penguin Commando v2.0 to make it more full featured with an attractive user-friendly interface. The addition of abilitytoflyviafizzysodabottles.1n1 to C:/Strategy/Tactics resulted in drivers operating at accelerated rates never thought possible in the previous version. Still functioning as a component of the Skipper v2.0 Master program, the subprogram Kowalski v2.0 showed signs of instability especially with the upgrade from Puberty v1.8 to Puberty v1.9. Tech support was overwhelmed with complaints that the program had become intermittently erratic and caused a persistent sobbing noise to emit from the media player whenever C:Skipper/Command/forgetDorisdammit orders were initialized.

Overall, the OS was a vast improvement over its feature limited predecessor. Programmers were still baffled when deletion of kitka.cfg from the system directory resulted in the shutdown and eventual loss of Falcon-Penguin Love Affair v2.5. It was believed that this was a result of the TESTOSTERONE AUTOEXEC.B7T file patch added to C:/Skipper/hotbody/hormones causing a nullstring in the commonsense.d11. This patch also made the interface with the Marlene v2.0 plug-in to become extremely unstable with the network driver suddenly operating in touchy-feely mode. Users were immediately advised to install Let's Not Rock The Boat v2.0 to C:/Skipper/Marlene/subtext because it had worked so well when added to C:/Rico/Shelly/unwantedattraction last spring. It was recommended that Users also modify their default settings. Most saw enormous improvement with the interface between the Marlene v2.0 and Skipper v2.0 programs after installing We're Just Friends No Really v6.9.

There were also widespread rumors that the entire bottom of the Penguin System Directory was lost when Users installed You've Got To Move It Move It v7.0. While the Penguin Support Directory was initially active, it became disabled, leaving Skipper v2.0 unable to fully control what we now know was a corrupt executable file called julienisanightowl. Fortunately, those who had installed the Mort Will Save Your Sorry Behind Through Adorability v8.00 Back-Up Utility were spared total system failure.

**New Features In Penguin Commando v3.0**

  
No doubt you'll underestimate the power of this OS! The new tricked out utility will surprise most Users. Some immediate improvements will be apparent.

Puberty v1.9 and TedSpeaks.n0t have been deleted, allowing an upgrade with this version of v3.0 to Emotionally Stable Kowalski v2.5 and Coherent Rico v2.5, (both are compressed files in the root directory which requires unzip utility to maximize). The source code for the Private v3.0 Driver/Sensitivity has been enhanced with HyperCute.4ww. The Skipper v3.0 program has been enhanced by adding PELT.4bz to C:/Skipper/body/rippedtorso and appears to be not only fully functional once again, but able to handle increased commands. Needless to say, floppies are no longer supported in this version.

Most Users will find the interface attractive, although we must admit that Marlene v3.0 is starting to look a little dated. This is thought to be a result of internetscandal.7mz caused by the relationship instability in the previous version of Penguin Commando v2.0.

Batch processing of cookies has also been enhanced in this version of Fred v3.0. We're not sure why, but it seems to add stability overall. Brightness controls are still spotty in Fred v3.0.

**Known Bugs & Programmer's Notes**

  
As in previous versions, Users are directed to use the search command to find FollowTheLine.007 if they become fearful that they have lost it.

It is reported that after installing Rockgut Raging Paranoia v5.1, systems become hopelessly hung up as resources are depleted. It is recommended that Users download the Shut The Hell Up You Old Dingbat v3.0 patch file and install immediately.

It has also been noted that running phillovesluluxxx.1uv will cause the following message: ERROR: ENCOUNTERED BAD SCRIPT. Clearly, the Dialogue Boxes remain a problem.

For future reference, Users are encouraged to make note that the path to C:/System/Koalaterror can be found in the Configuration Directory under I Am Leonard And All I Want Is Peace.8rr and Fear Anything Penguin.8rr.

**_WARNING!_ **

Do not activate Monster MP3 Player v3.0 in C:/Villainous Schemes/Ambition, which is a virus. This will in turn execute an ILLEGAL OPERATION ERROR and delete both Doris v2.7 and Parker v3.0. Subsequently the virus will initialize gillnetthedolphin.0ut and shut down the Blowhole 3.0 plug-in for no apparent reason. Programs Red One v4.0 and Red Two v4.0 are then installed in the Parent directory and activate Minions v3.0, sending destructive fragments throughout all open directories. Users may download lobster-shell as a work around command, but this will activate flatoutofluck as an executable file.

To its credit, when the corrupt I Am Wanting More Shinies v3.0 barnacled onto Blowhole 3.0 plug-in attempted to infect Julien v3.0, we received the following: ERROR: FILE COULD NOT BE CONVERTED. At that point mort.d11 and maurice.d11 transferred to C:/Bouncehouse/Hero/temp in the Julien v3.0 system directory and became encrypted. A second message then appeared on our screen: ERROR: SYSTEM COULD NOT FIND MULTI-LINK BUNDLE.

There are also unsubstantiated reports that fragments of the old Manfredi+Johnson v1.0 directory are still turning up in system files. We're working on the ghost in the shell! Cripes with a clutch purse!

101010101010

Evening peppered the evening's hazy sunset with pink and purple and enough light filtered via the portholes to cast a rosy glow on their commander's face. "Outstanding ennui defense, team, you all stayed awake! Kowalski, you can sit down now. Your drill was either honestly brutal or brutally honest. I dig it." Skipper high-oned with his lieutenant using his uninjured flipper. "Way to take over when my authorizing excessive force today turned a _scosche_ collateral damage-y."

Kowalski massaged his throat as he gingerly took his seat. "Th-Thanks, sir. You requested long-winded and it was that. I, I didn't suspect it would take so much out of me. Leading is _hard_."

"Yes. It is." Skipper shrugged. "But, Kowalski, that's how we operate."

IOIOIOIOIO

The End.

IOIOIOIOIO


End file.
